I took a few days off of work to clear my head and spend some time with my family. I conveniently planned the days around my paycheck so I could enjoy it.After dropping the kids off at school, my husband, who also took the day off, was zealous about spending a day alone doing what we do best, which was fighting over the radio, being indecisive about what we want to eat and debating about seeing a movie because no matter how much money I save, put away or make, he seems to never think we have the money to be spending on a "lavish" matinee. Popcorn? Forget it! The dollar store is only a mile away, and we could get candy there and hide it in my purse. Yep. That's how we roll.
We stopped at a sushi restaurant that we had been eying for as long as we moved on this side of town. It was like a diamond in a haystack. Really. It was this sparkly, gleaming, Japanese gem of a restaurant on the corner of Brown and Tan. The foliage surrounding the restaurant made it seem even more out of place. I had imagined someone sitting in a grassy plain, and saying ,"Like a good neighbor State Farm is there............with a sushi bar!"
Since the kids weren't with us, we ordered everything we wanted without having to share. We ordered sashimi without being concerned about sour faces and complaining. I didn't have to threaten anyone to eat their vegetables or else. I didn't even have to feel the annoyance of paying for a whole meal, when only half of it was nibbled on and the other half made into a make believe football field. It was wonderful. The day was going better than planned, and we will had hours before the munchkins got out of school.
We decided to go to catch up on our reading. Barnes and Nobles was perfect. It was awesome because we got to sit around, drink coffee and read magazines and books until our eyes were tired. It was like being at the library except the books didn't have that city-bus smell.
Finally, strolling through the mall I walked past a Chinese spa. It was a small hole in the wall, but when you went inside, it was tranquil with the sound of dripping water and serene music. All of the sudden, I felt my muscles and my back lock. I needed a massage bad! I imagined myself melting into the skilled hands of the massage therapist, putting the icing on the cake of my perfect little day.
The tiny Asian woman at the front desk seemed very happy to see me, as if I had an appointment. I advised her I wanted a chair massage but I did not want it in the front of the store. Too many people were walking by, and I couldn't enjoy myself if I felt like I was being stared at. They graciously accommodated me and walked me into a room, where more lullaby music was playing. I laid down on the table, and the minute she touched my neck, I felt like I was going to fall asleep. Then, the touch changed.
Out of nowhere, the hands seemed a little rougher, and I heard gum being vigorously chewed very close to my ear. At first, I thought I had made the woman mad. Next I figured she hated her job. Finally, I realized this was an entirely different person. Great. I was too fat for her dainty little fingers, so they had to get the sumo wrestler to finish me off.
He had no mercy as he pinched and prodded me like he was tenderizing a steak. It went from a Chinese spa to a Swedish meat market. He certainly knew what he was doing, if I was a four hundred pound man. I had to remind him several times to ease up before he broke something. He continuously chewed the gum directly in my here. I could hear every teeth imprint and pop and crackle. It was disgusting.
I admit, I felt relieved after words. It was never explained to me why they switched therapists, I mean I don't think it was personal, and I was too tired to ask. The man was as friendly as a teddy bear, so I left him a guilt-tip, but I will tell you, he would be better off working at Guantanamo Bay than in a mall. One massage from him would get any terrorist talking. I will say, you should never leave a massage appointment feeling like you have "survived" something, but the is just the way I felt on the way home ,where my husband had a strange smirk on his face. I almost wondered if he had something to do with the switch. I mean, could it be that he was upset that I made him wait in the lobby? Or that I made the diva request to be put in a special room? Either way, he got his revenge, I'm sure.
