Facebook: The Era of Acceptable Stalking

There was a time where the actions that we take on Facebook were socially awkward. Reaching out to a long lost pal. Looking up, then staring at a profile picture of your ex, who was now happily married, proud parented and is successfully putting your ideas about how you are better off without them to shame.

 Myspace and Facebook have not only changed the way we catch up; It has changed the way we get together, vacation, go to school, look at school, how we date, how we bully, how we vent and and even how we lose weight. (Ever see obnoxious, real-time-all-the-time updates to the point where you have to hide someone because, ENOUGH ALREADY!?)

Even larger than life corporations are using the social network as a way to cut corners with the background check. ( “Screw paying for a background check! Check Facebook, Bob! Well looky here…..this person finds the government bailout despicable and they hate corporations that take advantage of the small people. Well, we took advantage of the bailout, therefore this idiot isn’t the right fit for our organization. See ya, Jerry No Job!” )

Yes, this is sadly happening everyday to some ding-dong that hasn't figured out how to use the privacy settings.

Yet, what about us self-proclaimed normal people, that out of the blue want to check up on an old bestie from like, seventh grade? Or let curiosity get the best of us and decide to check up on an old boyfriend or girlfriend from a time where Casey Kasem was announcing a new single by a fresh new face named Vanilla Ice? (Doh-doh-doh-doh-doh- doh-dum) What about that crazy person that everyone knew would end up in trouble or dead? Were you right? How did they turn out? We can now take passing curiosity to the next level, thanks to social networking.

In the past, going through the trouble of finding these people was weird. We used to have to wait until high school reunion time to find out our burning questions.  We are now becoming obsessed with finding our past and even worse, leading them to believe we have these perfect lives that look just like our profile pictures. Anyone we think of from the popular cheerleader to the technerd from chemistry class, we will look them up, and then request them as a friend. With Facebook, it really is the more the merrier. I almost feel like I have to be embarrassed that I only have 60 friends. I mean, out of those 60 people, two are celebrities I don’t know, and a handful of them I speak to on a daily basis. Others, are my grandparents, that help make up the small population of "friends" that I have on my page. 

Oh, but Whoah! I see some of my friends with three and four hundred people on their page. It’s unreal to me! I mean, I have moved around a lot, and I am not really the keep-in-touch type, but four hundred friends? How do you keep up? Good grief, how many feelings do you hurt around Christmas time? Where did you have time to cultivate all those relationships? Is it now normal to keep in touch with every person you have ever come in contact with? I don’t know. I always felt like I had just enough friends, as I am some what of a loner, but thanks to Facebook, I certainly feel like I am doing something wrong.  May be I should have brought some cookies to the office meeting.  May be I could have been a little nicer to the kids in band. I mean, compared to some people, sixty friends is below standard.

Facebook has also become the ultimate Diss-Machine.  The worst feeling in the world is to be deleted off a “friends” page. It is the highest form of insult. A slap in the face. Delete or be deleted, if you are in a tiff with someone. Oh, you don’t want to get deleted first. There is no acceptable retaliation for it.
See, on Myspace, the ultimate insult was getting moved from a top spot. The value of your friendship was based on how many pictures down the row you were, and if you got moved, heads were gonna roll! You know I moved someone down from first to third place on my top friends list once, (hello, we are talking adults here) and the next day I was completely deleted from their account and they wouldn’t talk to me. HELLO! When we made up, we accepted each other as a friend again, but it was never the same. I never made it to his top twelve, and I was too stubborn to let him be on mine. Needless to say, the friendship totally changed. Facebook?  You simply get deleted.  Enough said.  And there is nothing you can do about it.

I experimented last week, and decided to find some old friends from eighth grade. That’s right. I got caught up. Well, to my surprise, the one I thought hated me not only wrote back but she added me as a friend. The ones that I was really close to never replied. Go figure! Was I insulted? You bet your mama I was! My feelings, my tangible, grown-up and sophisticated feelings were all butt-hurt because my eigth grade buddies didn’t write me back! I mean, it could have been because my last name is different, my face is a lot clearer, more defined or may be they plain just didn’t remember me. It is also a possibility that they thought it was completely weird for me to contact them after, um fifteen years, to say hello, remember me? Let’s be friends! Well, I will tell you, I ain’t doin’ that again! I have learned, thanks to the Facebook experience, that I do not handle cyber-rejection well AT ALL. I mean, I’m over it, however I do still wonder if they do ever get back to me, will I retaliate by not replying? Will I resist the urge to start looking for more people to contact through their lists? Am I becoming a Facebook stalker? I think not! I have learned my lesson, honey! I am going to stick to using Facebook to blast out random thoughts and talk to my cousins and family members that live elsewhere, and keep it at that. Case closed. Until next time……………