Hum Drum Harry's Big Surprise

Once upon an eight hour period, somewhere in Corporate America, where the tie never goes out of style, there was a man named Hum Drum Harry. Hum Drum seemed to not realize that there was a world outside of his cubicle. There were other things to talk about other than paperclips, meetings, bottom-lines and Fico-Schmico.




I walk past Hum Drum every day, hoping he will give me eye contact so I have a reason to spark up a conversation about something other than work. Nothing inappropriate, but anything that proved that he ran on food and not fuel. I needed to know if he was human, or if he was some cephalapod-iRobot corporate mole watching and recording every time I get up for a bathroom break and don't come back until I feel guilty.



Well, one day Hum Drum asked me if I attended the corporate Christmas party. I, of course was startled, and intrigued, and after I composed myself, I answered that I must have missed the email because I wasn't invited. I stared at him waiting for an answer or another comment. It was like watching a game of chess.



"Well, that makes two of us. You know I spend all my time in this @#$#@ place, and no one gives a @#$#$@ about how I feel or if I have a family or @#$#@ and you know what? I'm sick of it! No one appreciates anything I #$#@#$@ do and they'd probably be pretty sorry once I quit!"



Hum Drum turned in to Mo-Joe in like six seconds flat. I was beyond shocked. I was astonished at him! So astonished that I jumped up and gave him a hug. I don't know what I was thinking! It was pure innocence. I was in the moment! He was talking to me and I didn't know how to handle it. This morning, I wasn't sure if this man was a mammal, and come to find out he was ticked because no one invited his droll tail to a party, even though I wasn't sure exactly why he was surprised.



"What are you doing?" he asked, all flabbergasted.



Great, how was I going to play this off? I mean, why couldn't I just answer the question? I am not a touchy-feely person, so I am not sure why my first instinct was to sucker-hug him.

"Harry, I just am so glad....that you were not invited.  I was going to kill myself.... because I thought I was the only one." Where did that come from? Not only did it sound completely psychotic, but it was a lie and I don't lie.  It just came out so dog-gone easy; that's the part that really gets me!

"Harry, I hugged you because you saved my life, Harry." At this point I had repeated his name too many times.



"Well...now, there there," he said. "I need to get back to work, but it was nice talking to you."



And I never spoke to Hum Drum Harry again. He really did quit and I found out he became a bartender at the Spearmint Rhino.

The moral of this story is that if you sit and ponder about a strange and quiet person long enough, you will find out they may not be strange. They may actually be crazy.